It took me three weeks to go back and do my second visit to Platinum Boyz Barber Shop in Morningside. I have to say that part of it was due to the fear to face the difficult task and perhaps another failure.
This time I felt confident, hopeful to be accepted in a place that is far beyond my comfort zone.
Maybe, I was confident and serene due to the fact that I was armed with two boxes of doughnuts as I was advised. I entered the place without hesitation like someone who does not want to rethink. Platinum Boyz seemed a totally different place this Friday. All six barber chairs were busy, the waiting room areas inside and outside the shop were packed. And as the first time, Hip Hop was loud.
Just crossing the door, I saw the face of Bubble, the tough guy who treated me harshly in my first visit. He drew a surprise expression. His face resembled that of someone who has not seen a close friend in a long time, which was surprising for me too. "Hi Bubble, how is it going?", I said as I strongly shook hands with him. He stopped working and widely smiled; but, it was the sincere, spontaneous smile only joy can produce, not the bully one he gave me the first day. "You are for real man," he said with polite tone of voice. "I told you I was coming back. I brought a little something for you gays, I hope you enjoy," I said. This was definitely a good idea.
Sean, James, Jon and the rest of the staff looked at me with an expression I will never forget. Their faces were telling now you're welcome here. I could see behind the mask of big, tough guy of these men the humbleness to recognize and respect others. After seeing the other side of the coin, I feel they were testing me the first time. Having come back was probably the way to pass.
Also, I perceived Bubble is kind of a leader even though he is not the boss of the place. If Bubble likes you, you are safe in the place.
I walked toward Sean, the supervisor who I first spoke to in my first visit and let him know I had brought the doughnuts as gratitude for having me over the first day. Sean shook my hand and smiling said "Any time man." I went to Jame's chair and he not only shook my hand but also leaned his body against mine as black dudes do. This was quite remarkable for me. I initiated my observation right away.
In the back right side of the room, there was a barber I did not see the first time. I did not introduce myself like I did the first time with every single person in the place. This time I used a different strategy. I greeted the ones I already knew. The bottom line is that they introduce me to others at certain point. This barber was actually working on the only white person in the place, who was wearing business casual attire.I found it very interesting the way this barber was talking to him. The barber conducted himself in a soft manner and reflected kindness at all times. They were laughing on jokes the client was doing.
Sean was cutting the hair of a little boy three years old at most. He accidentally stuck the machine behind the kid's right ear. The kid jumped and vocalized, expressing pain. But, what happened next was mind-blowing for me. Sean said "Don't complain. You are two slow. You reacted two minutes late. You have to be faster in the world." I assume a young man sitting in the chair right in front of Sean was the boy's father. He just looked at Sean and smiled like approving the comment. This is completely different to the reaction I would expect from an Anglo or even a Hispanic father. In most cases, the Anglo or Hispanic father would react serious about the incident and would make sure it does not happen again. I understood they are not concerned about this incident; but, they do not make a big deal of it.
I also realized in this community one learns how to be ready and fast early on life. A two or three years old kid cannot certainly understand the terms Sean used. But, he is getting familiar with the patterns and behaviors he will have to deal with throughout his life. That taught me that surviving violence is a very important lesson in a black community. The issue is not the danger but how you react or deal with it. This kid has started to learn it already.
A barber I met the first time was this time sitting outside probably waiting for the next available barber chair. He has a huge tattoo on his right forearm I could not see it the first time because he was wearing a long sleeves hoodie. The tattoo is a huge flag I had never seen or at least I am not familiar with. "What country's flag is it?" I asked. "Palestine," he replied. I was shocked. The first visit, I erroneously assumed he was Latin because of his appearance. I did not even ask his name. I focused on my supposed mission: African Americans. "What's your name," I asked again. "Muhammad," he answered. This is a turning point definitely. A Palestinian working in a black barber shop is too attractive not write a story about I think. Hopefully, I will be talking to him next visit.
After about 15 minutes I decided to leave. Bubble asked me to stay a while but I said I was too busy. I wanted to make it short and effective this time. They know I am coming back next week. There was no threat, bullying, aggressive talking, nasty face or Creole this time. I felt profound satisfaction.
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